By Joel Engle

It is a new political party. Here are the fundamentals of my ideology.

1. All corporations that receive our bailout money should pay us back with 20% interest in CASH and give every American home a set of Ginsu knives. Those things are really cool.
2. To run for office, you should have an IQ of at least 90. Of course, this would eliminate many of our elected leaders, but I think that would be very cool.
3. Coke Zero should be our national drink.
4. Chipotle should be our national burrito.
5. Democrats and Republicans should play flag football to determine who runs the majority. If the game ends in a tie, then Englicanists should take over control.
6. Rush Limbaugh and Keith Olberman should have to live together on a deserted island for four years.
7. Bill O'Reilly and Bill Maher should fight in a cage match and the loser moves to Iceland for four years. Bye-bye, Bill.
8. We need a National Johnny Cash Day on February 26th! Everybody wears black and has to sing "I've Been Everywhere" at noon.
9. Barney Frank should be exiled to Yemen immediately.
10. Every working American should get a stimulus package gift card to Uncle Julio's.
11. It should be illegal for any celebrity to comment on politics.
12. We should immediately deploy Chuck Norris to go find Osama Bin Laden.
13. Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears and Lindsey Lohan should be drafted into the Marines for six years and stationed in Liberia.
14. I think TobyMac should be Secretary of Jam.
15. I think that true health care reform starts with everybody using Purel hand sanitizer at least six times a day!

Right now that is all I have, but I do think this is a platform that I could run on.

To catch a more "serious" side of Joel, look for his new book "The Father I Never Had" slated to be released in Spring 2010.